Chosen

Most people in church go on and on about how crafty and sly the devil is. It's right there in Genesis, the first time we see the devil show up as a character: "Now the serpent was the most cunning of all the animals..." But what people may not realize is that God is cleverer than that sly ole devil. I mean, He's God, He created Lucifer in the first place. The fallen angel's problem was that he thought he was better than God was (Ha!). But I know that in the face of my strongholds and lies that tend to plague my life, I forget that God is more crafty. For example...

Today I was rereading one of my favorite books: Celebration of Discipline by Richard  Foster. In the chapter on the discipline of meditation, Foster describes one way that people can use their imaginations to picture themselves with Jesus, walking with Him on the beach in Galilee, sitting and talking with Him in the gospel stories. So I decided to try it. I closed my eyes and started to daydream. But this time, instead of my normal time-wasting daydreams, I chose to daydream about me and Jesus.

Now, this is where God got clever. See, Satan really didn't like the idea that I may realize that I can daydream about Jesus instead of all of the other unhealthy daydreams he likes to feed me. So I'm picturing myself on the beach, looking over at the crowd of disciples and Jesus...when the thought runs through me, heart, soul, and mind: "Jesus wouldn't want me over there with Him."

"What?! How is that God being clever? Isn't that the enemy attacking with lies?" Well, yes, the enemy was telling me a lie; but the thing is, Satan's been telling me that lie for so long now, but this was the first time I actually heard it. It was as if I thought it loud enough that it interrupted my daydream like a slap in the face. Up till now, it's been a lie that has wormed it's way into my mind and heart softer than a whisper. It's always just been a feeling, a suggestion, a hint of an idea. But this time, the enemy got so freaked out by what I was about to do that he forgot himself and practically shouted it. And then it was almost as if God cupped His hand to His ear and said, "Oh, wait, what...what was that? You were telling My daughter a lie? Did you hear that, Dear One? The enemy was telling you a LIE." And then God smirked, cause I heard it and understood. (ok, maybe God didn't smirk, He doesn't really need to. It was more likely a pointed look at Satan saying, "BACK OFF, SHE'S MINE!!!")

And I realized (as Satan ran off with his tail between his legs) that for so long I have been under the assumption that I'm just a tag-a-long, a burden, an extra mouth to feed in the crowd just wanting a glimpse of Jesus. I don't want just a glimpse of Him, I want Him. But I've believed that my presence would just burden Him, that I'd be underfoot, and that He'd feel pressured to make time for me in His already hectic schedule of disciples clamouring for attention. So I backed away, loving Him from a distance, but ignoring any advances He made towards me. "It's alright, I know You're busy. Don't feel that You need to spend time with me to keep up an appearance. You're tired; go, sleep, I'll just love You from over here." If Jesus had really been around, that's what I would've done. Just sit back, afraid to approach for fear of overwhelming Him, afraid to find out that I would actually be a burden, that He would say, "Sara, I'm just too tired right now, can we get coffee maybe in a few weeks?"

Or worse...afraid of finding out that I would just be another face in the crowd. Unknown. Unrecognized. Unloved.

There was another woman like that in the Bible. She actually could've gotten some serious repercussions from touching Jesus, as she was by Jewish law unclean. She'd been unclean for 12 years. Can you imagine...not being able to touch anyone for 12 years for fear of making them unclean as well? Granted, they would only be unclean for a week, but it probably wouldn't make her any friends if she kept touching people. So when she heard about Jesus, and knew in her heart that He could heal her, she didn't want to create a fuss, she didn't want Him or anyone else to even know that she touched Him. She was content to remain a hidden unseen face in the crowd.

But, like me, God did not let her go unnoticed. He stopped mid-stride, turned to look for her, giving her the opportunity to dare and take that first step forward towards Him, and then He called her "Daughter." (Mark 5:24-34). I don't think I would've heard anything else after that. I would've been too overwhelmed. I was just chosen by the One powerful enough to heal, to redeem, to set free, to send the devil fleeing. He stopped just for me. I'm not just a face in the crowd, a mouth to feed, a block on the calendar.

I'm the one He walks towards up the beach, holds out His hand and asks-with a hopeful smile and twinkle in His eyes, "Sara, come with Me?"

How could I say no?